Justice and Travesty – Google Docs
Justice and Travesty
Description: two gold-colored falchions (single-edged one-handed swords with a slightly curved thrusting tip) of exquisite manufacture. Both swords have delicate, but incredibly strong basket hilts. One sword glows with blue inlay, while the other one glows with red inlay. It is not recommended that either weapon be wielded by someone who is not a celestial.
Austen’s Fang
Description: in appearance Austen’s Fang is a pretty little thing, while at the same time being a repellant little thing. Strictly speaking, it’s more of a misericorde than a stiletto: the green blade is thinner and longer than you’d expect it to be and still be functional; the black hilt is very short; and the tarnished silver cross-guard is almost non-existent. Austen’s Fang does register as magical in scans, but not on sight.
Blame this.
A Star Is Born (2010) – Google Docs
A Star Is Born (2010)
Director: David Fincher
Writer: Guillermo del Toro
Production Company: Hyades Productions Ltd.
Starring: Selena Gomez (Abigail Howard), Colin Firth (Jack Marsh), Sam Claflin (Bob Pickman), Nicole Kidman (Lavinia) Continue reading Item Seed: A Star is Born (2010).
Binding of Willow – Google Docs
The Binding of Willow
This is not something that demons do; it is something that is done to them, invariably by more powerful demons (the phrase ‘more sadistic’ is redundant, in this context). This lethal punishment is typically given out to those who have just climbed their way out of imphood, if for no other reason that no demon is foolish enough to give the talking monkeys even a taste of the power available to a mature, experienced Hellspawn. Even a limited amount of Infernal might is risky. Risky, yet ultimately rewarding.
Esoteric Controlled Transdimensional Observer Meter – Google Docs
Esoteric Controlled Transdimensional Observer Meter
Description: a human skull attached to a human spinal column, with two human humeruses (humeri?) serving as handholds (the ECTO Meter is held like a two-handed metal detector). The skull has two light bulb displays in its eye sockets that can flash red, yellow, blue, and green. There is a socket in the skull that will take a standard headphone plug, but not a USB port. The entire thing smells vaguely of polished bone and ozone.
Continue reading Item Seed: the Esoteric Controlled Transdimensional Observer Meter.
2018 Supay Enricher – Google Docs
2018 Supay Enricher
This four-door, six-seat passenger van comes from Supay Motors, a small Argentinian automotive company that recently started exports to the United States. It’s sturdy. It’s cheap. It gets good mileage, doesn’t need much in the way of maintenance, and even has a certain bulky charm to it. The Supay Enricher is turning out to be a good van for groups that need to move people and limited amounts of cargo around, and it has already gotten a reputation for being extremely rust and corrosion resistant. The vans are not yet ubiquitous on American roads, but they’re rapidly becoming just part of the background.
It’s gonna be a horror-themed month, I’m thinking.
Fangsaws
Description: take a miniaturized chainsaw. Now replace the chain with a series of human teeth. When in operation, the Fangsaw emits a low-pitched throb not unlike a zombie’s moan; the sound the teeth make when they cut into human flesh has been known to spawn nosebleeds for both the attacker and the victim.
The only reason why possession and/or manufacture of a Fangsaw is not immediate grounds for summary execution under Paragraph 6 of the Pan-American Occult Defense Pact of 1991 (signed by every nation-state on the American super-continent, including a couple you’ve never heard of) is because no atrocities or ‘supernatural terror crimes’ are required to enchant this particular magical weapon. Surprisingly: certainly forensic enchanters spent six months reverse-engineering the spells used, on the assumption that they’d be able to get the manufacturers for something. Alas, no; there’s nothing that allows it can’t be automatically sanctioned.
Code Monkey Run
Superficially, Code Monkey Run is yet another mobile runner game; the player directs a running monkey down an endless road, dodging the usual obstacles, acquiring the usual power-ups, and so forth until the monkey hits an obstacle. The general theme is computer-related (hence the name), and the game is free-to-play. It’s mildly dull, though; and having your code monkey dodge computer chips and whatnot quickly palls. Most people download it, play it a couple of times, then stop.
I do wonder if I’ve ever made this joke before.
Kore-Cola
Made with real pomegranates! And birch! And chervil! And a bunch of other herbs traditionally associated with death and the afterlife! Not that they really mention those herbs on the label, and honestly: pomegranate is the important ingredient. These particular pomegranates are from the orchard that Persephone planted in order to have a supply of seeds that would take her back to the underworld — what’s that? Yes, well, suffice it to say that the Greek myths kind of got a few minor details wrong. Like the fact that Persephone and her mother actually invaded Hades’ domain (in fairness, he deserved it), and that Persephone and Hades were both being very much Greek deities about the situation. Which is to say: rude, entitled, mercurially violent, and utterly incapable of staying out of each other’s beds. As usual.
Norton’s Key
Location: on the western cliff top of Alcatraz Island, San Francisco, California.
Description: it’s the standard sword-in-the-stone setup; the Key is a battered old Union Cavalry saber and the stone it’s stuck in is a giant hunk of benitoite. A plaque on the stone says, in English and Spanish: Whosoever pulls me from this stone will be the True Chatelan of the Emperor of the United States and the Protector of Mexico. The site absolutely reeks of civic-flavored magic.
