twilight – Moe Lane

The ‘TWILIGHT Pitch Meeting’ video.

The Pitch Meetings are fun, but I don’t want to put too many of them up. Still, the take on TWILIGHT is savage. Apparently more savage than anything in the film.

And what do I know about movies, anyway?

OK, here’s the situation…

…My parents went away on a week’s vacation!
And they left the keys to the brand-new Porsche;
Would they mind?
Ummmm, welllllll, of course not!
I’ll just take it out for a little spin
(And maybe show it off to a couple of friends!)
I’ll just cruise it around the neighborhood
Well maybe I shouldn’t
Yes, of course I should.

Parents Just Don’t Understand

Err… right. Where was I? Continue reading And what do *I* know about movies, anyway?

Lawsuits and vampires and angst, oh my!

OK, let me walk through this.

They needed a jacket for a scene in the movie Twilight* – no, I have no intention of seeing the series, unless there’s hella more decapitations and stakings added to it – so they sent out somebody to go buy one off-the-rack.
Like everything else involved with Twilight*, people go insane over the jacket.
The people who made Twilight* forget to get any kind of product placement agreement.
The people who made the jacket decide to re-release the jacket, and mention “Hey! This is the jacket Bella wore in Twilight*!”
The people who made Twilight* are now suing the people who made the jacket that Bella wore in Twilight*. They want all the jackets destroyed, too.

Wait, what? When did the people who made Twilight* buy the rights to the jacket that they had Bella wear in Twilight*? Lawyers confuse me.

Moe Lane Continue reading Lawsuits and vampires and angst, oh my!

Why wait 20 years, Glenn?

When it comes to Twilight-themed tattoos, ‘lame’ will work perfectly as well as a descriptor, whether it be today or twenty years from now.

H/T: Instapundit, naturally. And note that I don’t really have anything against Twilight, per se: I neither watch nor read it and I’m apparently not part of the target demographic. I will admit to a certain jaundiced attitude towards the assumptions, but then I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer more or less (if you’ll pardon the semi-pun) religiously.

Too good not to steal.

Via AoSHQ, although I recommend against clicking through for seafood lovers.

Video Game – E3 2009 – Attack of the Show

I haven’t even seen this movie, and it annoys me.

So. A Twilight-themed MMORPG.

Good idea, or bad idea? Bear in mind that I’ve never actually read the Twilight series, but it certainly seems to engender strong reactions every time that it gets mentioned, so I might as well flog the link.

Moe Lane

PS: “Sparkles?” I understand that Twilight vampires sparkle; has anyone ever explained why?

Scene from a comic book convention.

Well, a potential one. Apparently, it looks like there’s going to be a heavy presence at this year’s Comic-Con of a hitherto-unknown, Twilight-focused demographic – FlickFilsopher calls them ‘girls and women’ – and there’s some concern over the inevitable disruptions. Personally, I’ve never had any trouble as an adult in finding women to date (and one to marry) who shared geek interests; the fact that somebody’s swearing at the screen in response to that brag right now suggests that maybe more people should be focusing on the positive elements of this story.

Because I’m pretty sure that my teen-aged self would have considered a comic-book convention that had a lot of girls my age there too to be Shangri-La.

Via @Rhetorican.

Moe Lane

Was Twilight really that bad? (with a Barbara Hambly reference!)

I mean… that bad? The authors of that piece did everything except formally declare kanly on Stephenie Meyer. Certainly this guy was likewise unimpressed:

5 Reasons You’ll Hate The Movie ‘Twilight’ — powered by Cracked.com

Since I’m bringing up vampire books, people may want to try these two by Barbara Hambly instead: Those Who Hunt the Night and Traveling with the Dead. They’re horror/fantasy novels set in the Victorian time period, and are remarkably free of sentimentality about the implications of vampirism as it’s portrayed in historical myth. Which is to say, it’s a condition whose sufferers are apex predators who have no option but to eat human beings on a regular basis to survive, and who possess a set of abilities that allow that to be done easily. Or, more shortly: monsters.

Monsters who can think.

Moe Lane