Oct
19
2018
7

Look, lottery tickets are a sca… wait, *how* much?

Almost a billion, you say?  Well, it’s still a scam.  But the dart’s gotta land somewhere, as Michael Flynn once noted.

Moe Lane

PS: Yes, you may judge.

PPS: But you may not judge too much, because the scratch-off I bought with the other half of that twenty just came in for… twenty bucks.  Which means that, unlike virtually every other human who played the lottery tonight, I came out at least even.

Jan
09
2016
7

People try to stay anonymous when they win insanely high lotteries?

900 million for tonight’s, by the way.  550 million or so if you take it all at once; probably 350 million or so after taxes that way.  Anyhow, apparently people are mostly forbidden in most states from claiming the prizes anonymously; which I guess makes sense. I’ve honestly never really thought about it one way or the other.

I certainly didn’t assume that I’d be able to stay anonymous, in the just-this-side-of-impossible chance that I won.  A New Media dude and political blogger?  Dang, the media would eat that right up.  Especially since I’d be encouraging them to.

Moe Lane

PS: I’ve looked at the numbers, and I don’t think that I could actually buy myself a shiny new Republican Senator for Maryland.  At least, not for more than one term. Also: that’s pretty unethical, yes?

Jan
08
2016
10

If I hit the Powerball tomorrow, I will not spend it on hookers and cocaine.

Yes, I bought a Powerball ticket on a whim*.   No, I am not winning the $700 million Powerball tomorrow.  And certainly if I win it tomorrow anyway I will not spend it on hookers and cocaine:

Now, if I do win will I find this guy and slip him ten grand, no questions asked, out of sheer respect for his fearless technique for making an annoying reporter disappear? …I decline to dignify that question with a response.

Moe Lane

*Somebody is going to win that prize eventually. It won’t be me, but somebody will. And that person will never have to listen to another person go Well, you shouldn’t buy lottery tickets ever again.  The chance of having that happen was easily worth the two bucks.

Oct
17
2015
5

Illinois lottery paying out big… in IOUs.

Got tipped to this by @Snitfit: how is this even possible?

You can play the lottery in Illinois these days, but you just can’t win much. The cash-strapped state said on Thursday that it can’t pay out anything over $600 for the time being. For a ticket worth more than that, winners get an IOU that won’t be paid off until the state government resolves its long-running budget crisis.

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