Moe Lane

No… no, not really: it’s the new Underworld flick. Hunter: The Reckoning is just what they’re (allegedly) ripping off this go-round.

Although maybe that’s going to be a Hunter/Technocracy rip-off*.

Look, I may or may not have said some unkind things about White Wolf’s various Noun: The Gerund RPGs series in the past, but the truth is that I still have about a shelf and a half of their books – and having watched some of the Underworld flicks I am forced to admit that I muttered Man, but they ripped off the WoD something fierce in these at various points of the films.  In other words, I probably have a slightly more jaundiced view about who’s being ripped off here than, say, Tycho did back in 2003.

And being more jaundiced than Tycho takes skill.

Moe Lane

(H/T: Nodwick) (more…)

So, Underworld. Not bad for what was effectively five bucks, but a surprising lack of skin for an R-rated vampire flick. The gun-fu wasn’t bad, but it just lacked that certain “let’s talk about your worrisome, yet darkly compelling, sexual hangups” that permeate our modern understanding of the genre.  Not that I watch vampire films for that.  At all.  Ever.  Not me, no how, no way.

Moving along: why don’t vampires ever snack on people that seem, you know, healthy? As in “my breakfast was more than three olives and a picture of a celery stalk” healthy. Either they’ve got this weird thing going about cholesterol, or the side effect of vampirism is apparently going down to three percent body fat and a perpetually sullen, yet stylish, expression. If the latter is true, that means (as has been noted elsewhere) the legions of the Undead are probably missing out on a great long-term financial opportunity.

Lastly: if I ever use Abraham Lincoln as a character in a roleplaying game, he is so totally going to look like this.

Moe Lane

PS: Hey, at least this way I didn’t have to watch the press conference. How many questions did he manage this time? Six?

Why that, and not the ‘press conference?’

Because I haven’t actually seen the series, yet; it was cheap at the price that I got for it (cheaper than this, actually); and, honestly, it’s probably going to have a bit more believable fantasy narrative than what we have scheduled for this evening.

Besides, I’m merely doing what Fox is doing – and other networks wish that they could.