The single most annoying thing about the Onion is not that it generally consists of not-particularly-subtle, not-particularly-fresh, and not-particularly-good reheated slacker-Democrat humor. It’s that, every so often, somebody wakes up over there and creates something absolutely hysterical. Case in point, from their “Biden Has Guy Named Worm Sit In For Him At Cabinet Meeting:”
…OK, let me shove the quotes under the fold. Language, and all that.
…“Worm is cool, he can handle it, no problemo,” said Biden, who informed cabinet members that Worm would “get the lay of the land real damn quick.” “Listen, I would stay for this little powwow, but I’m neck-deep in some stuff that I just gotta take care of in a big way.”
“Worm says he’s clean now, because of some stupid probation thing,” continued the vice president, announcing that Worm received “Diamond Joe’s” seal of approval. “Don’t worry, I warned him not to bring that smelly-ass dog of his, and I never really talk at these things anyway. I’ll definitely try to catch the next one.”
But that wasn’t what made me lose it. This did:
Though cabinet members said Worm’s presence at the assembly was fairly uneventful, the 52-year-old reportedly interrupted a briefing on sustainable energy by suddenly shouting, “Which one of you guys is Chuck Hagel again? Joe says you’re a fucking prick.”
It’s funny because it’s true! On multiple levels.
I love the Onion’s version of Joe Biden. He’s on par with Futurama’s version of Nixon.
That was great. I lost it too.
.
As long as no one likes Chuck Hagel, this universe still has something redeeming about it.
Worm was a nickname for Dennis Rodman, just imagine him at cabinet meetings.