Group Seed: Lonely Potato Quartet.

Lonely Potato Quartet

Description: the band Lonely Potato Quartet (‘LPQ’ is their usual use-name) consists of lead guitarist ‘Hairy’ Harry Martin (dob 05/03/1995), backup guitarist/lead singer Jeannie Mancini  (dob 05/03/1995), base guitarist/backup singer Carmelita Mancini (dob 05/03/1995), and drummer Shirley Walker (dob 05/03/1995). All four were born in the town of Westmorton, Pennsylvania, and have been performing together since their early teens.  None are married or have children; their credit is excellent for people in their early twenties and none of them have criminal records.

The members of LPQ all attended the same high school (Stuart Regional) and college (East Pennsylvania State); Harry and Carmelita majored in music theory, Shirley in accounting, and Jeannie in music industry studies.  Their grades were excellent; their classmates typically remember them as being pleasant, but virtually inseparable. Many assumed that Harry was the twin brother of Jeannie and Carmelita (who are themselves fraternal twins), as there is an undeniable family resemblance; Shirley likewise shares a certain similarity with the other three, although she is African-American (Martin is Latino, and the Mancinis are Caucasian).

The Lonely Potato Quartet plays what could best be described as folk-pop; the four cover both traditional Appalachian country music and write their own songs, some of which have quite an elaborate mythology and simulated history.  Since graduation LPQ has steadily but unobtrusively moved up in recognition, fan base, concert venue, and general fame. Jeannie is effectively also the band manager, but has been advertising for a suitable candidate to take over the job.  LPQ is also in the process of hiring roadies, technical crew, somebody to drive their new bus — it should be simple enough to insert your entire team into the right job, particularly if we ensure that there are no other ‘real’ qualified applicants.

And why?  Because where LPQ tours, odd things happen afterwards.  Not bad things.  If the things were bad, the band would have been investigated months ago.  But low-probability events follow LPQ like the wake of a ship. It’s been deemed wisest to send in an evaluation team to look into things quietly, starting with the odd nature of the band itself.  Generally speaking, four people all born on the same day don’t spend most of their young lives preparing for a successful career in the music industry — but it must be reiterated: there is no indication that the members of Lonely Potato Quartet have done anything bad, or even particularly ill-advised.  But even if the band is an essentially benign mystery, it’s still a mystery, and mysteries need to be investigated properly.

Yes, it is understood that this may take some time. And yes, reasonable expenses are authorized. Reasonable.