Category: Movies

It’s gonna be a year of movies!

We’re not doing a go-elsewhere vacation this summer, for reasons; so my wife is doing a particular art/craft event and I’m going to see movies whenever I feel like it.  Which means a lot of popcorn flicks, starting next week the beginning of May with Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  Which I really, really want to be silly and relaxed. They got nothing to prove, so they should just go have fun.

…Whoops! Hit Publish too soon.  What are you guys looking forward to?  I ask because I plan to use this license to the fullest extent possible. Ideas always welcome.

So. That ‘Cloak and Dagger’ trailer.

I was reminded of it by Constant Reader BigGator5, so I went and watched the Cloak and Dagger trailer a couple of times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5hrFVQiGyk

The problem is: I’ve never read the comics.  I mean, I grok the basic concept behind the characters, but without reading them I dunno whether this is a faithful adaptation of the original. Has Marvel gotten this one right?  Or at least right enough for TV? It’s going to be on Freeform** in 2018, after all.

Moe Lane

*I think that we can all agree that Marvel is at its best when it’s not trying to change the core identity of its comic book characters, yes?

**According to Wikipedia, this network has a fascinating journey through the wilds of cable networks.  Started off as a CBN satellite feed, became the Family Channel, segued into first Fox Family, then ABC Family, and is now Freeform and targeting millennials.  Imagine being the janitor who worked through all those paradigm changes…

So, GeekTyrant lost its sh*t over the Tom & Jerry Willy Wonka movie.

Rather entertainingly, too.

But the kicker is this… the songs in the trailer are the same as the classic Gene Wilder movie. As far as I can tell, the whole movie looks like it’s just a remake of the Gene Wilder movie but with sh[*]tty CGI game-looking animation and F[*]CKING TOM AND JERRY!

[snip]

This is like a bad fan-fic someone thought up while hopped up on cough syrup. I hate you. You took something great and ruined it. What’s next? You’ve already screwed over Wizard of OZ, now Wonka. You gonna make Tom and Jerry Jurassic Park? Tom and Jerry Schindlers List? Tom and Jerry Carrie? Tom and Carrie… Uh-oh, Tom dumps blood on Jerry who goes mad and kills everyone with his telekinetic powers. STOP!

Come on, man. Tell us what you really think.

The aforementioned abomination unto the Lord after the fold. …What?  You’d think that I’d freaking LIKE a Tom & Jerry Willy Wonka movie that looks like they motion-capped the live action and recycled the songs?  Really?  Really? Continue reading So, GeekTyrant lost its sh*t over the Tom & Jerry Willy Wonka movie.

The SLLLOOWWWEDDD DOWWWN Kingsman 2 teaser trailer.

This may be cheating, but you can’t expect to do a ten second quick-cut trailer and not have the Internet take that as a personal challenge. Somebody is going to step up and adjust it frame by freaking frame. Just to say that they did.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle* will drop September 29th.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WExivw520lk

Continue reading The SLLLOOWWWEDDD DOWWWN Kingsman 2 teaser trailer.

Soooo… Alien: Covenant is gonna suck, huh?

They’re already resorting to found footage to promote Alien: Covenant.

:pause:

OK, I stopped caring about this franchise after Aliens, like many other people, but: that makes no sense in this kind of setting. The entire point of ‘found footage’ is to promote a feeling that this horror story is actually going on, only it’s been covered up or declared a fake.  That doesn’t really work when you know perfectly well that there are no interstellar colonization efforts going on right now.

And I say this as somebody who will watch and like found footage movies. I enjoyed the hell out of Cloverfield, for example. But this ain’t doing it for me.

Just watched the Iron Fist pilot while on the treadmill.

I personally thought that it was fine. Nice setup, reasonable amount of action, not too much in the way of inexplicable behavior.  I’ll likely be alternating Iron Fist and Agents of SHIELD for the next couple of weeks or so.  Marvel’s TV shows are pretty good for the treadmill, honestly.