Adventure Seed: The Background Theme of the Universe.

The Background Theme of the Universe

Well, this is awkward. You know about that ‘cosmic noise’ thing?  It’s this pervasive – as in, across the universe – sound that goes on above the 15 megahertz range; many scientists assumed that it was a relic of the Bing Bang, or something like that. Which it may very well be; however, we’ve been listening to it for about seventy years now, more or less, which has been barely enough time and sampling to give a suggestion that the sound has… purpose behind it.  

Essentially, the universe has a theme song. Continue reading Adventure Seed: The Background Theme of the Universe.

Adventure seed: Borogove Syndrome.

Borogove Syndrome

First successfully described in 1942 by a team using the Padgett memetic pseudonymic technique to avoid neurological infection, Borogove Syndrome is one of the most interesting and dramatic forms of a purely neuro-linguistic symbiotic organism.  There is some dispute as to whether Borogrove Syndrome is a symbiote and not a parasite, but hosts to it are in general agreement that the condition is benign, if not actively beneficial.

…We think.  Asking questions can be difficult.  More accurately, understanding the answers to those questions can be difficult.

Continue reading Adventure seed: Borogove Syndrome.

Adventure Seed: Project CULTIVATE.

Project CULTIVATE

 

The documentation for this Cold War project dates all the way back to 1949, when agents from the Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency raided the laboratory of an Operation PAPERCLIP Nazi biologist who was, in retrospect, a particularly bad choice for recruitment. Said biologist did not survive the JIOA raid – it was deemed necessary to burn his body on-site and then fill the room with concrete – but his notes were eventually collected, sterilized, carefully copied, then fed to the purifying flames.

Ironically, Project CULTIVATE was not actually directly derived from the notes in question, which were largely incoherent speculation on the best way to summon a “ultrabiological para-metaphysical horizon creature.”  Nobody knew what that really meant, and nobody had or has any intention of finding out.  But apparently one of the requirements was the need for absolutely perfect human specimens for, well, human sacrifice. That the biologist had a more coherent take on how to accomplish, and that researchers thought that they could recreate safely.

 

And so they did.  A thousand couples across America were carefully chosen and brought in for very specific, far past cutting-edge biological therapy. Someone treated with the CULTIVATE Serum will will sire or have children with absolutely no genetic conditions at all; if two people are treated with the Serum, any children they have afterwards will grow up to be at the peak of human ability. Not quite superhuman, but consistently at the top 1% in virtually every way.

Now this is the point where normally the story shifts to the standard tale of government-derived hubris and paranoia created a league of monsters in human form… only, actually, no.  The couples who participated in the project went back home and kept their mouths shut, because after all they got beautiful babies out of the deal and discreet, yet potent financial assistance to boot.  The children were observed through regular checkups by Project doctors under domestic cover; it was argued by some that they should be collected and observed in a secret facility, but all the paperwork suggests that such arguments were roundly rejected for at least twenty years.

…And that’s it.  The file that all of this came in doesn’t have a document in it that’s dated past 1974. The filing numbers don’t match the local classification system; while the file itself is stamped as being declassified, there’s no matching record of it anywhere and it’s just a rubber stamp on the signout sheet on top of the file.  Nobody in your department knows anything about this Project CULTIVATE, either.  Not even the Guy Down The Hall that works for the agency that’s not supposed to be working in your particular part of the intelligence world.

Weird, huh?

Adventure seed: Permanent Kittens.

Permanent Kittens

It seemed a good idea at the time… no, wait, people did freak out at the concept of genetically engineering cats who would never move past the kitten stage.  But there were arguments for it, not least of which was the one that if you’re going to genetically engineer animals, it’d be best to ensure that they were sterile. Which is obviously what was going to happen, here.  Also: the process of creating Permanent Kittens is extremely involved and multi-generational; keeping a stable supply of them around requires conscious effort on humanity’s part.  But, really: it all came down to people wanting kittens that never grew up.

Continue reading Adventure seed: Permanent Kittens.

Adventure/Item seed: Jar of Peaceful Valley Western Mission Olives.

Because I had some olives for a snack.

Jar of Peaceful Valley Western Mission Olives

How these particular olives ended up in the local distribution chain is a matter of some interest: while the labels say that these olives were processed by the Peaceful Valley Western Olive company of Wimberly, Texas, no company by that name exists in the state and the address is a vacant field.  And people have looked.  The olives in question are amazing. Plump, subtle-flavored, keeps forever, nutrition off the charts… and, when used as a spell component in any of a dozen kinds of healing magic, capable of tripling the effect of the magic (the olives get eaten in the process). Continue reading Adventure/Item seed: Jar of Peaceful Valley Western Mission Olives.

Adventure Seed: The Rosetta Stone Murders.

Blame this.

The Rosetta Stone Murders

The Rosetta Stone. It was the key to our understanding of Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, a shining symbol in the history of linguistics – and it’s killed at least three men that we know of, and probably more.  Turns out that a secret doesn’t have to be new to be deadly, particularly when there are immortals involved.

It all goes back to what the Rosetta Stone was actually used for, back in the day: it was a fairly standard embodiment of the ongoing deal made between the Ptolemaic foreign dynasty ruling Egypt, and the native priesthoods.  The king supported the temples, and the temples supported the king. The Rosetta Stone reviews the details of one such deal: grain and silver shipments, diversion of excess water from a particularly good flooding, allowing the priests a greater share of byssus cloth, legal protections for Alexandrian boatmen… actually, back up a bit.

Continue reading Adventure Seed: The Rosetta Stone Murders.

Item/Adventure seed: Crate of Cran.

Crate of Cran

Presumably that’s what it should be called: “Cran” is what’s on both the crate, and the labels of the twenty-four individual 12-ounce cans inside that crate.  Everything about the Crate of Cran is consistent with a mass-produced commercial foodstuff that is made openly and sold legally; the labels are machine-printed and affixed, cooking instructions and suggested recipes are included, and there’s even a non working barcode.  Which is significantly alarming, because the principal ingredient of Cran is spiced and sliced human brain tissue.  It’s not particularly healthy brain tissue, either: some fairly intensive analysis of the stuff suggests that the donors were older, not in the best of condition, and died while experiencing some stress.  Which is, alarmingly, not too surprising to anybody who works in the meatpacking industry.

Continue reading Item/Adventure seed: Crate of Cran.

Adventure Seed: Flight of the Dino-Master!

Flight of the Dino-Master!

I’m sure that the plan we’re about to talk about kind of worked on paper: after all super-villains are always creating all sorts of things or creatures that they’d then use to get revenge, take over the world, or become rich.  So when Dino-Master (real name: Herbert Grant, verified Mad Scientist who managed to slip through the high school guidance counseling process) figured out how to create a Devolvo-Ray that would turn reptiles and birds into dinosaurs, he thought that he had something hot, here. Convert a zoo, have a rampage, everything would be great.

And it worked!  He even managed to solve the mass problem (turning a chicken into a full-sized T-Rex is gonna require some special Mad Science, right there) with a handy protein slurry gun.  So, all of a sudden, the countryside’s full of dinosaurs, ready to rampage! …Only, they’re not.

Continue reading Adventure Seed: Flight of the Dino-Master!

Adventure/Item Seed: Death Comes Round to Carnival: A Lady Latimer Mystery.

Death Comes Round to Carnival: A Lady Latimer Mystery

The more you look at this book, the weirder it gets.  Superficially, it’s a murder mystery set in 1950s Rio de Janeiro: it’s one of a series written by “Angelica Mountjoy,” apparently. The heroine is an Australian amateur sleuth married to an amiable British nobleman who will happily take her on yacht trips around the world, where apparently she promptly encounters bizarre, themed murders that the police cannot solve on their own… you know the drill.  Fairly classic stuff.

But then you start noticing odd details. For example: the Latimer’s yacht is apparently half the size of an ocean liner and is armored like a battleship. In fact, the text ostentatiously points out that the yacht does not have guns, complete with a little bit of exposition as to why it doesn’t (something about because megalodons are extinct).  People in the book are absolutely terrified of hurricanes; even the hint of one shuts down Rio for a crucial moment in the plot. Speaking of which: apparently Japan was fighting the Allies in World War I as well as World War II (a convoluted alibi hinged on this), but the Americans never controlled the Philippines. Oh, and there’s an endless fascination with the curve of the earth. Including one scene where the happy couple watch Rio “suddenly rear above the waves, its towers springing to full glory as the happy land-wind brought with it strange and tantalizing scents.” Continue reading Adventure/Item Seed: Death Comes Round to Carnival: A Lady Latimer Mystery.

Adventure/Event Seed: the Chemitron Working.

Blame this.

The Chemitron Working

About the best thing that you can say about the attempt in the 1950s to create a synthetic angel was that… apparently it did not manage to infuriate the Almighty. Whatever the ‘Almighty’ even is, in this context. This is one of the problems with attempting to manipulate forces that operate at a higher level of reality than the level that you’re currently inhabiting: you’re never quite sure whether anything happened.  Well, unless you crack the Earth like an egg, or open a portal to the Universe of the Entropy Shriekers, or something like that. Something obviously happened then.

Continue reading Adventure/Event Seed: the Chemitron Working.