People should just be embarrassed on the National Enquirer’s behalf at this point. It’s like watching somebody being paid to poop their pants in public. And for a ridiculously small sum, too.
.@TedCruz on National Enquirer report: If my dad was involved in the JFK assassination, I will also confess he's Elvis.
— Patrick Svitek (@PatrickSvitek) April 22, 2016
Also:
My father-in-law took pictures of me and my eldest proving this: hopefully the maniacal grin got captured. You can get a surprising amount of velocity out of a lawnmower engine: who knew?
I love the smell of hydrocarbon products burned in an internal combustion engine in the morning: smells like victory.
Vacation ends tomorrow.
Moe Lane Continue reading In less confrontational news: Elvis IS in go-karts*.
…and I can’t decide if the change represents a surrender by Dodge to PETA, or whether it’s an exhibition of the Hawaiian good-luck symbol by the former towards the latter. Either way, I like the second better on style points, for a given value of “style.”
There is only one American king, baby.
(That’s Mojo Nixon
