Tag: star wars

DARTH MOUSE DECREES: No more 3-D Star Wars for you!

You are not worthy of such a boon!

…You know: between this, JJ Abrams being tapped for directing the new trilogy, and Disney bringing in Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt to do the writing… all f*cking hail selling out to the Mouse.  Lucas should have took the money and run YEARS ago.

Via AoSHQ.

JJ Abrams to direct Star Wars VII.

I predict three things:

  1. There is going to be a tremendous amount of bitching, moaning, whining, yelling, thoughtless ranting, thoughtful ranting, justifiable complaints, baseless complaints, and pretty much an open state of kanly among the science fiction community over every. Single. Scrap of news that comes out between now and opening night.
  2. We’re all going to be there opening night anyway.
  3. Sometimes between now and then, JJ Abrams will get caught – seriously, he keeps trying to keep a lid on it, publicity-wise – doing something very decent for somebody wrt access to his Star Wars movie.

Moe Lane

PS: Reading the stories on this… dammit, Cloverfield deserves more love.  I had fun watching that flick; I always wanted to know what it was like to have a worm’s eye view of a Godzilla attack.

DAMMIT.

Bad news.

Director Zack Snyder has come forward to deny a report claiming he’s journeying to a galaxy far, far away.

New York magazine’s Vulture blog reported Monday that Snyder, the director behind 300, Watchmen and the upcoming Man of Steel, is developing a Star Wars movie. According to the site, the feature would not be part of the planned numbered trilogy but would be an off-shoot tonally in the vein of the Japanese classic The Seven Samurai.

But in an exclusive statement to The Hollywood Reporter, Snyder’s spokesperson says: “While he is super-flattered because he is a huge fan, Zack is not involved in any way with the new Star Wars. He is currently in post on his two films, Man of Steel and 300: Battle of Artemisia.”

Via Constant Reader Canthros.  It’s not his fault.

Zack Snyder’s “Seven Jedi.”

..And I don’t need to say another damned word, huh?  The title has directly downloaded itself via your optic nerves into your hypothalamus;  right now the room is almost painfully bright and there’s a taste of bananas and electricity in the back of your mouth.  Light sabers.  Kurosawa.  Slow-motion combat scenes.  You did not know that such a thing might be allowed to exist.

This is what it is like to be pandered to, my Star Wars droogies.  This is how it feels to have impersonal forces casually shuck your carapace so that they may then feast upon your succulent money.

While nothing can top last year’s mega-huge reveal that Disney was buying LucasFilm with an eye toward making a brand-new trilogy, today’s announcement that Zack Snyder will direct a standalone Star Wars film separate from that new trilogy is still pretty massive.

Vulture broke the news this afternoon, stating that Snyder – who took himself out of the running for directing the newly-announced Episode VII – will instead develop a new Star Wars project for the company. The new feature will be inspired by Akira Kurosawa’s seminal Seven Samurai, and will apparently run parallel to events in the new trilogy.

Also: apparently we didn’t need to get stuff like this over George Lucas’ dead body. Who knew? Continue reading Zack Snyder’s “Seven Jedi.”

All hail the Soulless Corporate Behemoth! #starwars #disney

The rumor is that they’re tapping the Guy Who Wrote The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi and the Guy Who Wrote Sherlock Holmes and X-Men: First Class to do the scripts for the upcoming Star Wars movies.  Apparently The Mouse likes to makes a metric [expletive deleted]-ton of money off of geeks: who knew?

Thanks, guys.  Mind you, we still need to reform that absurdly punitive copyright scheme that the Mouse has inflicted on the country.

Moe Lane

Via:

OK. So which movie director SHOULD do Episode VII?

OK, so when I went off on Disney acquiring LucasFilm yesterday I had a lot of people point out to me that at least Disney will sell us stuff that we tell them that we actually want to buy – which Lucas always had a problem with. And I admit, that is an argument. So then I see this:

Continue reading OK. So which movie director SHOULD do Episode VII?

George Lucas finds last square inch of Star Wars not yet urinated upon.

Hey, did you ever want to see a Star Wars television series about its criminal subculture? …OK, maybe you did; maybe you didn’t; but the idea itself is not objectionable to you, I suspect. Well, it doesn’t really matter, because you’re going to get it anyway… maybe. It’s called “Star Wars: Underworld,” and they’re working on it:

“We’re at a complicated impasse right now,” [Star Wars producer Rick] McCallum told IGN. “We have… 50 scripts [that are] unbelievable. The most provocative, the most bold and daring material that we’ve ever done.”

I know that most of you are wincing at that last sentence, but there may be stubborn holdouts who somehow managed to save vs. stark revelation of sanity-destroying cosmic truth. Allow me to crush your souls.

McCallum added that Underworld will only enter production once George Lucas can make the show “at the cost of maybe $4 or $5 million an episode”.

Continue reading George Lucas finds last square inch of Star Wars not yet urinated upon.

…For some reason I feel better for seeing this.

I guess because we have people out there whose only job in life is trying to make sure that stuff like this can happen.

Via @caidid (it would have been the other guy, but Mother Jones blocked my personal IP* so they don’t want my traffic anyway).

Moe Lane

*Yes, I’m very proud of that, too.  The best part?  I don’t even remember going after them particularly.