Tag: weekly world news

Friday the 13th, explained.

Admittedly, what happened two days ago probably would be enough to cement the unlucky reputation of the day, but just in case it’s not, the Weekly World News is on the case and researching the problem as only they can. A taste:

* In London’s summer of 1865, seven prostitutes, two flower sellers, three secretaries and a nun were assaulted on Friday July 13th by a crazy man wearing an athletic mask. The assailant would jump out of the shadows and present them with literature supporting the Conservative Party. As the women screamed and tried to run away, they were asked for donations repeatedly, up to 18 times in one case.

I don’t know why that one’s the funniest – to me, at least – but it is.

Moe Lane

PS: No, I won’t be seeing the movie. I’m one of those weird people who liked TV series better, and by “better” I mean “I actually liked the series, as opposed to the movies, which I pretty much hated.”  I guess that I’m a snob.

Cheney’s retirement lair is at…

…the “exotic monster pet” stage of development? Excellent. Although why he only wants one face-slapping, Greenpeace-eating, narcotrafficante-disrupting giant Colombian snake is beyond me completely. I know that Rumsfeld is letting Cheney crash at his place until the new digs are ready: possibly he doesn’t have the room?

Moe Lane

PS: VIPER FANG!

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Reality defeats the Weekly World News.

Give them credit that they went down swinging – but when the title “Chirac Bitten by Depressed Poodle” is literally true, there’s a limit to what you can work with. I’m pretty sure that they went with “history of domestic violence angle on Sumo’s” just to retire from the field with their honor still intact.

Hey, it happens.