Having read this on Cracked, it immediately became obvious that what it was starkly necessary for someone to look at the “6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can’t Explain” and explain them using the tools designed for such things: ie, roleplaying games.
Well, it was obvious to me. This is going to go unapologetic gaming geek now, so I’m giving the rest of you the courtesy of a page break.
The Voynich Manuscript
Let’s see: a bizarre manuscript that makes no sense, has eluded every attempt to translate it, seems internally consistent, and possessed of a level of detail that indicates either great internal truths, a truly horrific case of obsessive-compulsive behavior, an elaborate joke, or some combination of all three?
Yup, Unknown Armies. Clearly St. Germain’s personal journal. Why he’s letting the party have it is another story altogether. But don’t worry: it’s actually written down already. In the Manuscript. Including the ending, and don’t you want to translate the thing and find out what’s accelerating towards your head in that last drawing?
The Antikythera Mechanism
Gears in Atlantis! No, not GURPS. This one is old-school Mage: The Ascension, as well as one of the clockwork locks that are keeping the World Serpent under safe, Technocratic lock and key. Yeah, maybe you should go check on the other ones. No, the Technocracy never got around to assigning new oversight on that project when the Sons of Ether jumped ship. Well, yes, that’s one of the reasons why they don’t like you guys very much.
The Baigong Pipes
Feng Shui. I’ll tell you, cutting ventilation shafts from the Netherworld lair to the 1996 juncture was expensive, in ways only barely understandable, but so totally worth it. Until the critical shift, that is. Now the stupid pipes are blocked, and you have to go clean them out. Well, of course you need a small arsenal to do that. You always do.
The Giant Stone Balls of Costa Rica
No-one in the In Nomine universe likes to talk about the fact that, prior to the Rebellion, the Archangel David’s Cherubic from was that of a giant chicken. Nobody really wants to talk about the eggs, either.
Yeah, that’s going to be a problem as soon as they hatch. Into what? Well, go find out and let us know.
The Baghdad Batteries
This is what you were saving GURPS for. Just grab three books at random like everybody else and turn it into a campaign. GURPS Horror/Vikings/Imperial Rome? OK, that works: obviously they’re batteries powering Heronian ghost-repellents that Varanginian bodyguards stumbled across after retreating from the fairly bloody defeat at Manzikert.
Or something like that.
The Bloop
Gimme a hard one. Like Cracked, I gotta go with Call of Cthulhu. Specifically, Delta Green. Plot? What plot? Like your character’s going to survive the session even if you do find out what it was.
Moe Lane
I -really- like the way you think. I’m stealing these.
Feel free: that’s why they’re there.