John McCain is a lucky so-and-so.

I mean, John McCain picked the absolutely best election cycle to have one of his fundraisers busted for cooking meth:

A huge drug bust in Phoenix, Arizona, put one of Sen. John McCain’s former consultants behind bars.

Emily Pitha and her boyfriend were arrested after authorities discovered methamphetamines, LSD, heroin, cocaine and a large amount of cash inside their home.

Continue reading John McCain is a lucky so-and-so.

You gotta watch out for those kinesiology professors.

It’s the study of human movement, after all – so you know what that means?  It means that they know how to cut you, that’s what it means.  Seriously, there’s a PhD out there on the run today, riding outlaw… and he has nothing to lose. Dr. Stephen J. Kinzey, wanted for meth dealing, and subject of one of the better understatements that you’ll read today:

“To have an associate professor who is a member of the Devils Diciples and allegedly dealing methamphetamine is quite alarming. I mean, it’s unusual to say the least,” Sheriff Rod Hoops said at a news conference in San Bernardino.

Here’s Kinzey’s Twitter account, by the way – sad to say, though, he kind of looks… not exactly like a meth dealer, but like the kind of guy that it would maybe not surprise you to hear that he was arrested for dealing meth.

Via Wombat-socho, who raised an excellent point: if you want a good cover identity to hide the fact that you deal meth, ‘kinesiology professor’ works.

Meth Monkeys… those funky monkeys…

Speaking of Iowahawk, he is why I may now salute Jeff Bobo of, who has brightened my day by writing the perfect intro to a news article.

The Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office is well trained and experienced in a variety of meth lab scenarios, but they entered uncharted waters Friday afternoon with the added element of four live monkeys.

Tell me that you don’t want to read the whole thing, now.  Go ahead.  Make me believe you.

Moe Lane

PS: No, you probably shouldn’t have hoped for more monkey-related carnage.  First, because that’s not very nice; second… dude.  You expect a lot from monkey minions mentored by a man who makes meth.