The ’12 Monkeys’ SyFy television series trailer.

I am… less frightened of this than I expected to be.

Which is odd, because I respected the original 12 Monkeys enough that normally I’d be upset that they were going to go and do the exact opposite from the original while using the same name*.  Possibly it’s because I respected 12 Monkeys without liking it very much: it’s a good flick, but not a happy one.

Eh. The TV show could still very well suck.

Moe Lane

*Like they do

Hey, who needs some #Hastur-esque Nightmare Fuel?

Here you go: strip out the color on these pics and maybe do some basic Photoshop distortions on them and you’ve got instant freak-outs for your next horror game.

Don’t click the link if you don’t like being vaguely freaked out by stuff.  No blood, no gore, no tentacles – but the pictures are kind of unnerving, in that pattern-mismatch sort of way.

#rsrh Trust the NYT magazine to make a mountain out of a macaque.

Background: there’s a macaque monkey loose in Tampa Bay.  It’s been there for years, and generally speaking, the populace is perfectly fine with that.  The government is not, but it has not successfully captured the beast, apparently because it is chasing a super-genius macaque monkey which is also being pretty much aided and abetted by the human citizenry.  This will keep happening until the monkey either flips out and actually attacks people, or it dies of old age.  The end.

But in the hands of the NYT, we get a parable about compromise.  Although, to be fair: you can see where that part was grafted on.  So I blame the editor, not the author.

Moe Lane Continue reading #rsrh Trust the NYT magazine to make a mountain out of a macaque.

Today’s Happy Monkey Public Service Announcement.

Please remember: this is not a happy monkey.

This is a monkey that is debating whether or n0t to savagely bite you.  Generally speaking, the answer defaults to ‘yes.’  Monkeys are not particularly introspective when it comes to biting things.

This is a happy monkey:

…you can tell that by the details that teeth are not visible; and the hand is full of a stolen camera, instead of, say, monkey feces. Continue reading Today’s Happy Monkey Public Service Announcement.

Meth Monkeys… those funky monkeys…

Speaking of Iowahawk, he is why I may now salute Jeff Bobo of, who has brightened my day by writing the perfect intro to a news article.

The Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office is well trained and experienced in a variety of meth lab scenarios, but they entered uncharted waters Friday afternoon with the added element of four live monkeys.

Tell me that you don’t want to read the whole thing, now.  Go ahead.  Make me believe you.

Moe Lane

PS: No, you probably shouldn’t have hoped for more monkey-related carnage.  First, because that’s not very nice; second… dude.  You expect a lot from monkey minions mentored by a man who makes meth.

Taiwanese news media discover monkey Taliban story…

…not one of their best CGI results, but there’s at least one good photoshopped image in there.

Via Buzzfeed: interestingly, the original story about the Taliban supposedly training monkeys to fire guns originates from… the official newspaper for the People’s Republic of China.  Why do I have the feeling that the rest of the world is getting somehow sucked into the lingering aftereffects of the last Chinese civil war?

Alcoholic Caribbean monkeys.

(H/T: Fark Geek) The title is all that’s necessary, I think:

Alcoholic monkeys in the Caribbean mimic human drinking habits

…OK, and the video:

Mostly because somebody out there has a job that lets them go to Caribbean islands to film drunken monkeys. That lucky so-and-so probably even had a budget.  Why was I not told by my high school guidance counselor that jobs like this existed?  It would have given me something to aim for.

Moe Lane