Quote of the Day, I Don’t Know If The Venerable Bede Made It Up… edition.

…but it’s still one Heaven of a quote.

The present life of man upon earth, O king, seems to me, in comparison with that time which is unknown to us, like to the swift flight of a sparrow through the house wherein you sit at supper in winter, with your ealdormen and thegns, while the fire blazes in the midst, and the hall is warmed, but the wintry storms of rain or snow are raging abroad. The sparrow, flying in at one door and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry tempest; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, passing from winter into winter again. So this life of man appears for a little while, but of what is to follow or what went before we know nothing at all. If, therefore, this new doctrine tells us something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed.

Bede’s Ecclesiastical History of England, Chapter 13.

Quote of the Day, The Pain Was The Point edition.

How amusing: “The executives over at Warner Bros. are having regrets about bringing director Zack Snyder back to complete his four-hour cut of Justice League, which cost the studio an extra $70 million to complete because a completed version of his film did not already exist.”

…Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to make a Zack Snyder flick into a Joss Whedon flick, guys. Whedon’s on my [expletive deleted] list for his personal behavior, these days – but he was never gonna be able to give Warner Bros. the JUSTICE LEAGUE they wanted. When Snyder came in and applied to the screws to get the JUSTICE LEAGUE he wanted, I laughed and I laughed and I laughed. Mind: I enjoyed both movies!

It’s just that I enjoy watching a major movie studio howl with outrage over the consequences of their actions even more. May they remember it, the next time. And the time after that.

#commissionearned

Quote of the Day, I Have A Sherman Tank So Your Argument Is Invalid edition.

This is old, but good. Short version: man buys tank. Man parks tank outside of his house while he works out final home for the tank. The bug up the a*s of the man’s HOA decides this is intolerable, starts up the passive aggressive machine, and sends a certified letter. Result?

In the spirit of General Patton, Buzbee was unmoved by this opening salvo. “Typical,” he says. “It sounds like small-town stuff, but this was Houston, Texas. But I didn’t fret over it. Hell, I would have moved it two weeks before I did but for the fact I got that letter. So then I decided I’d leave the tank here for two more weeks just to see what they would do about it.”

What they did about it was start writing parking tickets, which is funny. I mean, generally speaking you can assume that anybody rich enough to buy a tank is rich enough to just pay the parking tickets. Besides, he was moving it anyway to a nice ranch, where it can peacefully frolic and run over cars…

Via @KPlorable.

Quote of the Day, You Volunteered To Write A Screenplay For Paul Verhoeven, Scooter McGee edition.

Don’t be surprised when that particular path takes you to weird places:

Continue reading Quote of the Day, You Volunteered To Write A Screenplay For Paul Verhoeven, Scooter McGee edition.

Quote of the Day, Yes, Indeed: Read @Badmachinery’s STEEPLE Webcomic edition.

John Allison, writer of the Steeple webcomic:

It’s my birthday today! I’ll be celebrating, as I always do, by having a glass of water. If you want to give me a present, please tell a friend about Steeple. Tell them it’s a reasonable read at a price that’s right. That ought to do it.

It is, in fact, both of these things. If he did commissions, John Allison would be on my ‘try to buy a book cover from’ list.

Question and Response of the Day, There Can Be Only One Final Shatner Quote edition.

James Lileks asks a reasonable question:

Shatner dying in space would be an utterly unique end to a career that no one could’ve predicted back in the late 60s… If I were Shatner, and I was toting up the odds, I’d think: what if? Could happen. Will there by time to say something? If so, what?

And then proceeds to come up with some answers. Alas, there’s no point. There is only one proper final Shatner in Space quote:

Continue reading Question and Response of the Day, There Can Be Only One Final Shatner Quote edition.

Quote of the Day, …Me, Too, GeekTyrant. Me, Too edition.

Ain’t gonna lie, this was exactly my reaction.

William Shatner’s ‘90s cyberpunk sci-fi mystery novel series TekWar might be making a come back with a new animated series adaptation. The nine-novel series has already spawned a TV series, four TV movies, a comic book, and a video game, all of which were released in the ‘90s.

I honestly totally forgot that TekWar was even a thing until this news of an animated series popped up!

I like Bill Shatner, but… I truly remember very little of this.

Tweet of the Day, I Hope He At Least TRIES To Do This edition.

Not that it will happen. Then again, what’s the harm in applying for the relevant permits? The worst they can do is say no.

Tweet of the Day, ‘Crocodile Donnie?’ …I’ll Allow It edition.

Wrestle a gator into submission, get the nickname. Seems fair.

Moe Lane