Tag: star wars

I actually look forward to Scalzi’s Star Trek rant.

I wonder if it’ll hit the same ones that I would have; particularly, how every major problem in the Star Trek universe can be solved by a modified tachyon burst emitted through the main deflector grid.

Anyway, via Instapundit comes “John Scalzi’s Guide to the Most Epic FAILs in Star Wars Design.” I like this one the best, because it’s one that I didn’t think of ahead of time, but was bloody obvious once it was pointed out to me:

Lightsabers
Yes, I know, I want one too. But I tell you what: I want one with a hand guard. Otherwise every lightsaber battle would consist of sabers clashing and then their owners sliding as quickly as possible down the shaft to lop off their opponent’s fingers. You say: Lightsabers can slice through anything but another lightsaber, so what are you going to make a hand guard out of? I say: Dude, if you have the technology to make a lightsaber, you have the technology to make a light hand guard.

Well, that’s why he’s John Scalzi, and I’m not.

Moe Lane

Blond, Purple-Bikini Girl shot first.

Via Vodkapundit, girls in bikinis reading from Star Wars Trilogy . Interestingly, this video had my wife in hysterics, if you define ‘hysterics’ as ‘openly laughed a couple of times.’

I suspect that at least one of the bikini-clad readers has actually watched the trilogy about twenty times. Secret geekdom is one of the tragedies of our time.

Moe Lane

It is not the greatest video ever, by the way: there’s no bacon involved. QED.

HAHAHAHAH! Good one, Ain’t it Cool News.

(H/T Ace)  You almost had me believing that Lucas was going to do a Star Wars TV series; but even he’s not that twis…

Sweet merciful Jesus.
donotwant_vader

Picture via Encyclopedia Dramatica, a site that I will never, ever admit to having read in any other context. Just like the rest of the Internet.

The latest Darths & Droids explains it all.

[UPDATE]: Fixed.

This comic is clearly therapy for David Morgan-Mar.  Because he so desperately needs Attack of the Clones to make sense, somehow.

Personally, when I get a moment of Lovecraftian existential horror at the meaninglessness of the universe that is exemplified by the prequel trilogy, I just imbibe tequila until I’m no longer in the Bad Place. It’s even good for me! As a friend of mine once said: “Sure, drinking kills brain cells – but only the weak ones!”

The Darth Giger gave it a run for its money, though.

I was sent an email on this Star Wars photoshop contest (supposedly the link’s on Fark).  Some pretty good, some not so much.  This one is probably the best so far:

910966_db10_625x1000

I’d like to note for the record that the original has always kind of haunted me.  Something about the endless Friday night at 3 AM that it represents.  This, on the other hand, does not.

The infuriating part about Darths and Droids

For those who don’t read it, the conceit behind Darths & Droids is that it describes a fake roleplaying campaign, using still photos from Phantom Menace (for example, the Jar-Jar Binks character is being run by a seven-year-old girl*, which really explains it all) – anyway, the infuriating part is not that the campaign notes found here (just before they were gleefully shredded by the players) are not better than Lucas’ vision.

No, the infuriating part is that David Morgan-Mar effectively proved that a make-it-up as you go along, ad hoc last-minute changes scattered throughout the narrative, the players didn’t read the background material given them by the GM and can’t even remember any proper nouns, everybody’s pushing the rules as far as they’ll go, pretty much typical roleplaying game campaign would also be better than Lucas’ vision.

Frustrating.  But funny!

Moe Lane

*Who, by the way, has damn good roleplaying reflexes.  If she actually existed, I’d let her play in my campaign.