underworld – Moe Lane

George Lucas finds last square inch of Star Wars not yet urinated upon.

Hey, did you ever want to see a Star Wars television series about its criminal subculture? …OK, maybe you did; maybe you didn’t; but the idea itself is not objectionable to you, I suspect. Well, it doesn’t really matter, because you’re going to get it anyway… maybe. It’s called “Star Wars: Underworld,” and they’re working on it:

“We’re at a complicated impasse right now,” [Star Wars producer Rick] McCallum told IGN. “We have… 50 scripts [that are] unbelievable. The most provocative, the most bold and daring material that we’ve ever done.”

I know that most of you are wincing at that last sentence, but there may be stubborn holdouts who somehow managed to save vs. stark revelation of sanity-destroying cosmic truth. Allow me to crush your souls.

McCallum added that Underworld will only enter production once George Lucas can make the show “at the cost of maybe $4 or $5 million an episode”.

Continue reading George Lucas finds last square inch of Star Wars not yet urinated upon.

Oh, look. The Hunter: The Reckoning movie.

No… no, not really: it’s the new Underworld flick. Hunter: The Reckoning is just what they’re (allegedly) ripping off this go-round.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zzrwmigv9A&feature=player_detailpage

Although maybe that’s going to be a Hunter/Technocracy rip-off*.

Look, I may or may not have said some unkind things about White Wolf’s various Noun: The Gerund RPGs series in the past, but the truth is that I still have about a shelf and a half of their books – and having watched some of the Underworld flicks I am forced to admit that I muttered Man, but they ripped off the WoD something fierce in these at various points of the films. In other words, I probably have a slightly more jaundiced view about who’s being ripped off here than, say, Tycho did back in 2003.

And being more jaundiced than Tycho takes skill.

Moe Lane

(H/T: Nodwick) Continue reading Oh, look. The Hunter: The Reckoning movie.

My random musings on vampires.

So, Underworld. Not bad for what was effectively five bucks, but a surprising lack of skin for an R-rated vampire flick. The gun-fu wasn’t bad, but it just lacked that certain “let’s talk about your worrisome, yet darkly compelling, sexual hangups” that permeate our modern understanding of the genre. Not that I watch vampire films for that. At all. Ever. Not me, no how, no way.

Moving along: why don’t vampires ever snack on people that seem, you know, healthy? As in “my breakfast was more than three olives and a picture of a celery stalk” healthy. Either they’ve got this weird thing going about cholesterol, or the side effect of vampirism is apparently going down to three percent body fat and a perpetually sullen, yet stylish, expression. If the latter is true, that means (as has been noted elsewhere) the legions of the Undead are probably missing out on a great long-term financial opportunity.

Lastly: if I ever use Abraham Lincoln as a character in a roleplaying game, he is so totally going to look like this.

Moe Lane

PS: Hey, at least this way I didn’t have to watch the press conference. How many questions did he manage this time? Six?

Frankly, I’m going to watch Underworld tonight instead.

Why that, and not the ‘press conference?’

Because I haven’t actually seen the series, yet; it was cheap at the price that I got for it (cheaper than this, actually); and, honestly, it’s probably going to have a bit more believable fantasy narrative than what we have scheduled for this evening.

Besides, I’m merely doing what Fox is doing – and other networks wish that they could.