The ‘Latest Bite at the Apple’ DUNE trailer.

I dunno.

It’s not the casting, or even the likely changes to the plot. It’s the perennial problem with DUNE: it’s a trilogy that apparently can’t be made as a trilogy. You either end up compressing it down into a single flick, or you make a miniseries that doesn’t let you do the sweeping cinematic panoramas on a huge movie screen.

But they’re gonna keep trying, apparently. It’s like I AM LEGEND: some projects are just catnip to ambitious directors. And, heck, I’m probably gonna go see it anyway, so: good luck!

So. Amazon has rights to The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales.

[UPADTE: Patreon!]

That is indeed news. I suspect that many will not see this as good news, but I guess we’ll have to wait until the first episodes become available for review. Reportedly, the nudity that had been reported earlier will not be titillating, but instead be “very dark thematic material suggestive of concentration camp-type visuals of victims, a harrowing portrayal of the corruption of the Elves by dark powers to ultimately become Orcs.” So if you were dreading hot nekkid Noldor-on-Sindar action, that at least might not be actually happening.

Or it might be nothing but elf-orgies* all season. It’s kind of up to Amazon at this point.

Continue reading So. Amazon has rights to The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales.

MCU’s BLADE gets a director.

As is traditional, we will all now go “Who?”

Marvel Studios’ upcoming vampire movie Blade has taken a big step forward with the hiring of a director. The filmmaker that has been hired for the job is Bassam Tariq, who best known for directing the Riz Ahmed film Mogul Mowgli.

I’ve looked up the film, and it’s a 2020 drama that critics loved and nobody saw. Marvel Studios loves finding directors like that, frankly. All you have to do is give ’em creative control and a ton of money, and they’ll make you some blockbusters… okay, now that I’ve written that out it actually sounds like a pretty good deal for everybody involved. I mean, there are worse things out there for one’s future career prospects than having people go Oh, you did SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING? That was a good flick.

So let’s see how the new BLADE goes.

The MONSTER HUNTER: LEGENDS OF THE GUILD Netflix trailer.

Via Constant Reader junior: this looks like it’s based off of one of the Monster Hunter games, which is something I keep asking myself if I want to play. Problem is, it’s on the Switch, and we all know my problems with making time for non-PC games, dagnabbit. Anyway, MONSTER HUNTER: LEGENDS OF THE GUILD seems cool:

My non-review of “Space Jam: A New Legacy.”

Short version: don’t be absurd. Watch that movie? I have more of a sense of self-worth than that, and so should you. Read my books or check out my Patreon, instead. Or just take your money out back, and burn it in a ditch.

Moe Lane

PS: Judging from the reviews, kids may like it. Which annoys me more, because I’d rather mine not be exposed to A CLOCKWORK ORANGE just quite yet…