Item Seed: Wirestrictors.

…Ick. And I wrote it.

Wirestrictors

Generally speaking, necromancers prefer to bind dead human souls into items, instead of animals; mostly because it’s easier to suppress a human soul’s innate intelligence and ability to understand language than it is to boost an animal’s.  In fact, it’s largely impossible to do that with animal souls at all. What you rip out of the body is what you get, and if what you got was something not capable of doing anything elaborate, you had better stick with simple.

Wirestrictors are pretty simple.  Take one constrictor snake, rip out the soul, then shove it into a long, strong metal wire (showing no care in either the ripping or shoving: you want the snake soul upset). Then set a secondary spell that will render the snake soul ‘unconscious’ until a pre-chosen triggering mechanism is activated.  Coat the wire in something that will hide the discoloration and reek of wrongness.  Attach the ends to a brooch or gem or whatnot (not too strongly).  

Continue reading Item Seed: Wirestrictors.

The Combat ‘Mafia III’ trailer.

Goodness gracious, but that’s absurd.

I mean, Mafia III is a video game, so yeah, it’s absurd anyway – but it just screams “ABSURD!” when you set it in a recent historical epoch.  How is the protagonist expected to operate for more than a day before the entire National Guard is called out to find him?  Supernatural intervention?

Note, of course, that there’s every chance that I end up playing this game. Absurdity is never a deal-breaker for me. But it’s still pretty funny, in a very dark sort of way.

Hurricane Matthew set to pummel Caribbean, SE Atlantic coast.

Does not look good, folks.

Hurricane Matthew, the most powerful Atlantic tropical storm in almost a decade, was gearing up Monday to deliver a potentially devastating blow to the Caribbean as wary U.S. authorities began preparing for a possible landfall on the Atlantic Coast late in the week.

Well before its expected arrival late Monday or early Tuesday, Matthew was already pouring torrential rain on Haiti, where “staggering rainfall totals are possible,” said Rick Knabb, director of the National Hurricane Center.

Stay safe, everybody.  It’s been a while since we had this kind of a whammy: so take it seriously, OK?  Or at least don’t do anything dumb.

Tweet of the Day, This Story Doesn’t Pass @_FloridaMan’s BS Detector edition.

That’s devastating. And embarrassing for everybody who reprinted the alleged story about the guy who accidentally married his own granddaughter.  Then again, Florida Man is wise in the ways that his homeland typically warps the space-time-good-taste continuum…

Oh, gee. The “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” teaser trailer.

Well, perhaps it will not suck. I absolutely, positively make no argument that it will not suck, mind you. The second and third movies sent this franchise into a dive that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides could not quite pull it out of.  But you never know.  The Mouse’s dice have been hot and hopping, lately. Maybe they can work some magic on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.

Maybe.